My Ex Won't Let Me See My Child, What Can I do?

  There are many reasons parents refuse to allow the other parent to see their child.  Some reasons are out of fear, disapproval with his or her lifestyle or rejection of the other parent's new partner.  There are safety concerns as well such as lack of supervision, attachment issues and the potential for emotional or physical abuse. 

  However, parents who are withholding visitation often do not realize that withholding visitation may lead to the losing custody rights of your children. Far too often, withhold visitation as a means to harm the other parent or punish him or her for leaving the relationship, for cheating or choosing to continue abusing drugs rather than help raise a stable family.

  The truth is that no one is ever ready to become a parent.  You will never become a "perfect" parent.  You will never feel as though you are doing the right thing all the time  as a mother or father.  If you think you are always right as a parent or co-parent, then you probably are not being honest with yourself.  Such attitudes lead to conflict in parenting styles with the other parent.

  When you consider that half of all marriages end in divorce, and half of all pregnancies are unplanned, parents must deliberately choose to remain intact.  However, just because a parent decides to divorce or leave the other parent does not make it impossible to raise healthy, happy children together. 

  There are plenty of intact families raising children in a manner that is unhealthy or unbalanced.  There are plenty of "married" parents who are not emotionally present for their kids.  In a world of incessant demands, it is nearly impossible to find enough time in the day to meet all of your children's needs.  While there is no single wrong or right way to raise a child, research has proven that it is far better for a child to maintain a relationship with their biological parent than to experience the pain of rejection from an absent parent. 

  When parents tell me that their other parent is refusing visitation, many questions arise.  How long have you been separated? Do you have a parenting plan?  Have you filed anything with the Court?  When is the last time you had visits with your child?  Do you have any pending criminal cases?

  Regardless of the answers to those questions, family law is a grey area of the law.  In other words, what happens in one courtroom on a certain day is specific to that case only, and that courtroom.  A judge might rule in a certain way on a case but rule the exact opposite way in your case.  Therefore  families must do everything they can to ensure that the focus is on the child and not on the circumstances which caused the current situation, or to find fault in the other parent.

As a parent it is your job to draw the line on negative attitudes toward the other parent or even step-parent.  You had a child with this other person who is known as the mother or father to your child.  It is not the child's fault that the situation is not what you expected it to be.  It is your job to set the example of what unconditional love means and understand that if you love your child, you must respect the child's other parent.  

    If you are looking to permanently destroy a co-parent or ex-spouse through dishonesty and the manipulation of the Court system, you do not have the best interests of your child at heart.  I advise clients to seek family counseling when they harbor that kind of emotion because it causes deep problems which are passed along to your children nearly subconsciously.  While it is natural to want to punish an ex-partner or co-parent for various reasons, it is your duty to find a way out of this emotional prison, or you will never be free and be fully available to love your children or any new partner for that matter.  You must let go of the past and embrace the amazing new chapter life has set before you.

   If you are struggling with a transition in your family and you are dedicated to the success and happiness of your children,  we are on the same page.  Whether you are contemplating a divorce, or are facing some of the hardest times your heart has ever known, life happens!  Our dedication to helping families is unwavering in the face of court battles and adversity of all types.   We want to take you and your family to the next level.  When you reach out to Advanced Legal Resolutions, your success is our goal.  Become a part of our family here and see why Advanced Legal Resolutions takes a positive approach to life's obstacles.  While we specialize in family law, marriage is a legal contract and our practice spans all different areas such as criminal law, probate, landlord tenant and civil law.   We look forward to hearing from you soon.