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Family Lawyers Las Cruces NM | Blog

Is Divorce Mediation Right for You?

Posted by Sarah Van Cott Hughes | Oct 11, 2023

Is Divorce Mediation Right for You?

In this blog post, we offer an overview of divorce mediation and help readers determine whether it is the right option for them. We delve into divorce mediation, explaining what it entails and how it differs from traditional divorce proceedings.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is resolving disputes between divorcing couples with the help of a neutral third party, known as a mediator. Unlike litigation, which involves going to court and having a judge make decisions, mediation aims to facilitate open communication and cooperation between the parties involved. Mediation focuses on finding mutually agreeable solutions and creating a divorce settlement that meets the unique needs of both individuals.

Advantages of Divorce Mediation

There are several advantages to opting for divorce mediation:

  • Cost-effective: Mediation tends to be more cost-effective than traditional divorce proceedings because it typically involves fewer court appearances and less time spent on legal procedures.
  • Less hostile: Mediation encourages a cooperative approach, reducing conflict and minimizing hostility between divorcing couples. This can lead to a more respectful divorce process.
  • Customizable agreements: With mediation, couples have more control over the outcome of their divorce. They can work together to create personalized agreements that address their unique circumstances and prioritize the needs of both parties.

How Divorce Mediation Works

The process of divorce mediation typically involves the following steps:

  • Selecting a mediator: Choosing a qualified mediator with expertise in family law and conflict resolution is essential. Researching credentials and seeking recommendations can help in finding the right mediator for your case.
  • Initial consultation: During the initial consultation, the mediator will explain the mediation process, gather relevant information about the case, and assess whether mediation suits the couple's circumstances.
  • Joint sessions: In joint sessions, the mediator facilitates discussions between the divorcing couple. They help identify issues, encourage effective communication, and guide the negotiation process.
  • Settling: Through open dialogue and compromise, the couple works towards reaching a satisfactory settlement. The mediator assists in drafting the final agreement, which each party's respective attorneys can review before it becomes legally binding.

Is Divorce Mediation Right for You?

Divorce mediation may be suitable for those willing to work cooperatively and maintain open lines of communication. However, it may not be the best option for everyone. Consider the following factors when determining if divorce mediation aligns with your needs and goals:

  • The complexity of issues: If your divorce involves complex legal and financial matters, such as significant assets or child custody disputes, mediation may still be an option, but it may require additional support from legal professionals.
  • Level of cooperation: Mediation relies on the willingness of both parties to collaborate and compromise. Mediation may be inappropriate if there is a significant power imbalance or a history of abuse.
  • Emotional readiness: Divorce can be emotionally challenging. Assessing your emotional readiness and ability to participate constructively in the mediation process is vital.

Common Misconceptions about Divorce Mediation

There are some misconceptions surrounding divorce mediation that are important to address:

  • Mediation is only for amicable divorces: While amicable divorces can benefit greatly from mediation, it is also suitable for couples experiencing higher levels of conflict. Mediation can provide a supportive environment to navigate challenging conversations.
  • Mediators make decisions for you: Mediators do not make decisions for the couple. Instead, they facilitate communication and assist in finding common ground. The divorcing parties themselves make the final decisions.
  • Mediation takes longer than litigation: While the length of the mediation process varies depending on the case's complexity, it can often be faster than litigation. Mediation allows couples to control the pace and schedule sessions according to their needs.

Finding a Qualified Mediator

When choosing a mediator, consider the following steps:

  • Researching credentials: Look for mediators with specific training and experience in family law and divorce mediation. Check their certifications and affiliations to ensure they meet professional standards.
  • Seeking recommendations: Ask trusted friends, family members, or professionals in the legal field for recommendations. Their personal experiences can provide insights into the quality of a mediator's services.
  • Interviewing potential mediators: Schedule initial consultations with potential mediators to assess their communication style, approach to mediation, and compatibility with your needs. It is important to choose someone you feel comfortable working with.


Divorce mediation offers a viable alternative to traditional divorce proceedings, promoting open communication, cooperation, and customized agreements. It can be a cost-effective option for many couples. However, it is crucial to evaluate your unique circumstances to determine if divorce mediation is the right choice for you. Consider the complexity of the issues involved, your level of cooperation, and your emotional readiness. With the assistance of a qualified mediator, you can navigate the divorce process with greater control and focus on finding mutually beneficial solutions.

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About the Author

Sarah Van Cott Hughes

Bio Sarah Van Cott began practicing law in Alamogordo, NM, at a small civil practice where she managed cases including wills and trusts, personal injury, landlord tenant and contract law. In 2013, she began working as an Assistant District Attorney prosecuting criminal cases for the State of Ne...

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